Elephant in the Room designed by Luis Prado for the Noun Project

Elephant in the Room designed by Luis Prado for the Noun Project

If an acquaintance, or someone you’re just not that close enough to, asks for a job recommendation that you feel uncomfortable giving, New York Magazine suggests you try one of the following “humanely disingenuous” approaches:

1. Respond enthusiastically with information of limited value: “Would it help if I gave you the name of the human-resources person? I think I might even have his e-mail!”

2. Issue a self-deprecating disclaimer of helplessness: “I don’t know how much my word counts on this one . . . ”

3. Technically do the favor, but warn off the prospective employer either explicitly or between the lines: “An acquaintance of mine is looking for something. I’ve known him ever since we went to Bennington! He dropped out though.”

If they take the next step in asking you why they didn’t get picked or why you won’t personally recommend them, remember that no one can get better without feedback — just make sure you give them criticism without being critical.

[via]

  • j

    False and nasty, yet polite .. how becoming

  • Chad Haynes

    Seems to be the common way to do it. Personally I tend to be straight up with people, I’ll usually just tell them why I’m not recommending them and why. I try not to befriend people who can’t take blunt criticism, as I expect people to be equally blunt with me.

    • sophi444

      I just got paid $7500 working off my computer this month. And if you think that’s cool, my friend has twin toddlers and made over $8k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do,

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      • piyanis

        awsome site…

  • sophi444

    good

  • wwilliam275

    Seems to be the common way to do it.

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