How to Listen: Expect Nothing

thumbnailDavid Intrator argues that doing more creative work while attempting to stifle our inner critic can teach us to listen better, and that a result of learning to listen is gaining more insights to build into our work and daily lives:

Listening is a state of absolute receptivity…you don’t expect anything and you don’t want anything.

This state of receptivity also applies to listening to music, and even to the visual world.  Broadly speaking, we can listen to a painting or a photograph in the same way we listen to a symphony.  We can take it in, initially at least, without going on and on about it inside our own minds.

I would venture to say that engaging in creative work is possibly the best way for us to learn how to listen, because one side of the creative process is very much about relinquishing control, about being receptive, about…not wanting anything.

This is how we generate or accumulate the material from which we ultimately make something that has form, utility and meaning….Creative work gives us a chance to practice the art of simply taking things in without succumbing to the urge to dominate them.

If you allow yourself to really listen when someone — or something — is trying to speak to you, you’ll uncover more from what’s being said and be able to take that into your work. It isn’t easy, as David points out, but learning to actively listen, by doing more free-flowing creative work, might be enough to inspire new ideas in us.

Read the full article over on The Creative Organization blog.

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Beware of Perception Gaps

By Marco Leo

By Marco Leo

Small misunderstandings can sometimes morph into larger misconceptions, which can then snowball into full-blow falsehoods that ultimately erode trust, credibility and transparency. A small perception gap can significantly impact performance down the road. The disconnect between what you want to say and what is actually said is what Anne Loehr, author of A Manager’s Guide to Coaching: Simple and Effective Ways to Get the Best from Your Employees, calls as the “Perception Gap.”

She suggests that we structure clarity into our process in order to avoid it:
  1. At the beginning of a call or meeting, state: “My intention for this meeting/call is X.” That way, the team or team member can frame the meeting content within the stated intentions.
  2. At the end of the meeting or call, ask for feedback by saying “My intention for this meeting/call was X. How did I do?” This reiterates your intention to the team, and creates a welcoming environment for clarifying questions.
  3. Listen carefully to the reply to see if there is a Perception Gap.

Be aware of how you are communicating, and with whom. Get to know your teammates’ communication styles and aim to communicate in a manner that they are more likely to receive accurately and positively. Remember that simple conversations can have a negative impact on not just performance, but on relationships as well. 

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Want Busy People to Respond to Your Email? Keep It Short & Urgent

By Antonio Rodrigues Jr

By Antonio Rodrigues Jr

Have you ever emailed someone who is extremely busy, only to hear back several days (or weeks) later? Or perhaps you didn’t hear back at all? Busy people are difficult to reach via email, because you’re asking them to part with their most valuable resource of all: time.

In a guest post for OkDork, business coach John Corcoran shared how he got the attention of App Sumo founder Noah Kagan via email. The trick to capturing the attention of the busy executive was a sense of urgency:

I said the interview would take only 5-7 minutes of his time. If you’re asking for something, you want to make the commitment so small and the benefit so great, they can’t possibly pass it up. I think Noah probably realized it was likely the interview would run longer than 5-7 minutes, but it’s good to demonstrate your willingness to keep the time demand commitment short out of respect for your recipient’s time. And in fact, when I did interview Noah, I offered multiple times to cut off the interview but he allowed it to go longer.

In a study commissioned by author Dan Pink for his book, To Sell Is Human, workers reported that as part of their job, they spent 40 percent of their time trying to convince someone to part with resources of some kind (what Pink calls “non-sales selling”). And much of that is accomplished using email. 

Corcoran says that when you’re writing an email, you want to make the commitment so small and the benefit so great that the recipient finds the offer hard to refuse. So instead of asking for half an hour of someone’s time, ask for a handful minutes. Instead of writing, “I’d love to grab coffee,” say “I could pop by your office for a couple of minutes.”

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Relevant: How To Ask People for Things Via Email: An 8-Step Program

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Can’t Fall Asleep? Do a Nighttime Audit

By Dadu Shin

By Dadu Shin

Almost half the people you’ll run into today are suffering from some level of sleep deprivation. This is largely because we don’t know when (or how) to call it a night. Tethered to our devices, work more often than not spills into the precious time that we need to decompress and prepare for a good night’s sleep.

Ron Friedman, author of The Best Place to Work: The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace, suggests that we conduct a “nighttime audit” to better understand where we’re going wrong:
Do a nighttime audit of how you spend your time after work. For one or two evenings, don’t try to change anything—simply log everything that happens from the moment you arrive home until you go to bed. What you may discover is that instead of eliminating activities that you enjoy and are keeping you up late (say, watching television between 10:30 and 11:00), you can start doing them earlier by cutting back on something unproductive that’s eating up your time earlier on (like mindlessly scanning Facebook between 8:30 and 9:00).
It’s not a matter of giving things up, so much as simply rescheduling them. Avoid burnout by understanding how to set yourself up for the expert-recommended minimum 30 minutes that you need to wind down before attempting to sleep.

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Know the Difference Between Having Focus (Noun) vs. Focus (Verb)

By Michael Dales

By Michael Dales

As the story goes, Bill Gates first met Warren Buffett at a dinner. Gates’ mother (and dinner host) asked everyone around the table to identify what they believed to be the most important factor in their success. The two moguls gave the same answer: “Focus.” 

An advocate for focus in work, life and leadership, Greg McKeown, the author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, believes that many people mistakenly believe that there’s only one type of focus, when there are in fact two. We often miss the nuance and depth associated with the concept of focus:

Focus as a Noun. 
When people speak of focus they usually mean having a single goal. It is a static thing, a thing you have. This kind of focus conjures pictures of Roger Bannister relentlessly pursuing his goal of breaking the four-minute mile, John F. Kennedy challenging NASA to put a man on the moon within a decade or, coming back to Bill Gates, a vision of a personal computer on every desk. The upside to this kind of focus is clear and compelling: you pursue a single objective and don’t get distracted along the way; you build momentum as many different people aligned behind achieving this one goal.

Focus as a Verb. 
Focus is not just something you have it is also something you do. This type of focus is not static; it is an intense, dynamic, ongoing, iterative process. This kind of focus conjures pictures of Steve Jobs saying to Jony Ive day after day, “This might be crazy, but what if we…” until once in a while the idea took the air out of the room. It’s the constant exploration needed to see what is really going on and what the “noun focus” should be.

Focus is a powerful attribute, especially in a world that is tirelessly trying to compete for your time, energy, and attention. McKeown says that if we want to direct ourselves toward what’s essential, then we need to develop both kinds of focus. It’s the only way to confidently answer the question, “What’s important now?”

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Make a Good Impression: Introduce Yourself by Who You Help

By Leah Pavkov

By Leah Pavkov

Introductions are crucial. As the adage goes, “first impressions are lasting impressions.”  Neuroscientists even found that 7 percent of what people think of you is cemented upon meeting you for the first time.

This explains our aversion to name-droppers, ramblers or the people making it rain business cards at networking events – the “dirty” networkers. Bernard Marr, author of Doing More with Less  recommends a simple adjustment to our personal introductions to make a good impression:

Instead of leading with what you do, lead with who you help. As in, “Hi, my name is Bernard, and I help companies identify and make the best use of their key performance indicators and big data.” Done. You know who I am, what I do, and more importantly, whether or not I can help you or someone you know.

Human beings make snap decisions – our brains are hardwired in this way as a prehistoric survival mechanism. However we can use this to our advantage by focusing on how we help others, rather than flaunting how well we’ve helped ourselves.

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How to See Inspiration in the Everyday

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You can’t force inspiration, but how do you cultivate an environment where you are open to it? When the Los Angeles Hammer Museum’s breakout artist Jennifer Moon was looking for a new source of inspiration, she unexpectedly found it on her 5 a.m. drive from Los Angeles to Big Bear. She noticed the dreamlike, half-conscious state of mind was not only soothing and meditative, but allowed her mind to be open to new ideas:

When I’m driving and things come to me, it’s definitely not forced. The times when I try to force it, it usually doesn’t happen. Really, my only job as an artist is to remain as open as possible and as aware as possible, so for ideas to enter me I have to be open. That’s the only thing I really need to focus on.

 As we learned from Moon’s experience, our mind requires moments of rest to collect, organize and connect the abundance of information from our busy lives. This information is supplied through new experiences; in Moon’s case, driving at 5 a.m. has a completely different ambiance than 5 p.m. And lastly, she found inspiration in the everyday. When on vacation, it’s easy to fully engage in every aspect of a new environment.

The challenge is to keep that wonderment alive in the day to day.

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